WONDER why I Fast and work on my Personal Progress?

September 9, 2014
Required Value Experience 3 Living gospel principles requires faith. Read about faith in the Bible Dictionary or True to the Faith. Faith in the Savior Jesus Christ lead to action. Choose a principle such as prayer, tithing, fasting, repentance, or keeping the Sabbath day holy. In your own home or another setting, plan and present a family home evening lesson about how faith helps you live that gospel principle. If possible, ask a family member to share an experience that has strengthened his or her faith. Share your own experience as well. In your journal write down one of those experiences and describe your feelings about faith.
I chose to learn about fasting.  Here is my experience and testimony:
About 6 months ago, I was feeling overwhelmed with life. I talked to Carlos about it, and he suggested that I fast. I thought to myself, “good idea, but, No thanks.” Then I got the prompting to work on my Personal Progress. I kept putting the Spirit off.  Assuring myself that I was doing enough. I finally agreed with the Spirit and began to study and set goals.
One of the first Value Experiences was to learn about a gospel principle and practice it. I decided on fasting.
Four months ago I was sitting in the Chapel in the Draper Temple, waiting for our Young Women. I began looking up all the scripture references for fasting in the Topical Guide and Index. I learned so much. I learned a lot about different reasons to fast and the power that comes through fasting. Then Saturday night, I could not sleep. I was tossing and turning all night. I was thinking about too many things, and trying to figure stuff out. I thought, “What can I do about ______? How can I fix this?” Then the Spirit whispered, “You should fast.” So I decided to fast on Sunday. I did not tell anyone or make a big deal out of it. I spent the morning rereading the scriptures on fasting and some quotes by apostles and prophets. I felt in order to be a true fast, I would also need to pay fast offering. I also learned about more blessings.
Ezra Taft Benson
“Periodic fasting can help clear up  the mind and strengthen the body and the spirit…To make a fast most fruitful, it should be coupled with prayer and meditation…ponder on the scriptures and the reason for the fast.”
Bruce R McConkie
“Fasting…gives a man a sense of his utter dependence upon the Lord so that he is in a better frame of mind to get in tune with the Spirit.”
Joseph B Wirthlin
“…members are encouraged to fast whenever their faith needs special fortification and to fast regularly once each month on fast day. On that day, we go without eating or drinking for two consecutive meals, commune with our Heavenly Father, and contribute a fast offering to help the poor.”
President Heber J Grant
“Every living soul among the Saints that fasts…will be benefited spiritually in a wonderful way.”
President David O McKay
“All the principles related to fasting seem to point to the fact that it produces (1)physical benefits; (2) intellectual activity; and  (3)spiritual strength, which is the greatest of all benefits. This fine spiritual strength is derived by the subjection of the physical appetite to the will of the individual…If there were no other virtue in fasting but gaining strength of character, that alone would be sufficient justification for its universal acceptance.“
L Tom Perry
“The law of the fast has three great purposes. First, it provides assistance to the needy through the contribution of fast offerings, consisting of the value of meals from which we abstain. Second, a fast is beneficial to us physically. Third, it is to increase humility and spirituality on the part of each individual.“
So, I went to church fasting. It was ward conference. Bishop spoke about making sure we are doing the basics….and FASTing. It was awesome to have another witness to my feelings that morning. Bishop said he had felt for some time that our ward is lacking in some Spiritual Power that we could gain by fasting.
Fast forward to last month. Carlos had been working on a book and deal for nearly 2 years. He had a contact that had committed to show it to a Big Wig. Everything was finally falling into place. He was feeling very hopeful…and then crash. Everything began to fall apart. Carlos sent the book to the Big Wig, the shipping company messed up and sent it to another state. The contact sent a text message, he no longer wanted to help or be involved in any way. Carlos came upstairs and said, “I think I may have a nervous break-down.” I went into our bedroom and feel to my knees. I said the second shortest prayer in my life: “Heavenly Father, I don’t even know what to pray for.”
Carlos was able to get the contact to agree to a meeting for the next Monday.
I decided to fast.
When Carlos got home from the meeting, I asked how things had gone. Carlos said that the contact was saying “No” to everything, and then an idea came to his mind. Carlos presented it and the contact agreed! I then told Carlos I felt this was the answer and the direction we should go. I shared with him that I had been fasting.
Here are some more of my favorite scriptures and quotes on fasting:
What is Fasting?
To fast is to go without food and drink voluntarily for a certain period of time.
Proper observance of fast Sunday includes going without food and drink for two consecutive meals, attending fast and testimony meeting, and giving a fast offering to help care for those in need.
Your fast offering should be at least the value of the two meals you do not eat. When possible, be generous and give much more than this amount.
(TRUE TO THE FAITH)
The True Law of the Fast Isaiah 58

What can we fast for? The purpose of fasting?
Gain Knowledge and Strengthen Testimony:
Alma 5:46     Alma 17:3     Helaman 3:34-35     Daniel 9:3     Acts 10:30     Acts 13:2
Others Welfare/ Missionary Work
Alma 6:6     Alma 17:9     Alma 10:7     Mosiah 27:22     3 Nephi 27:1     2 Samuel 12:16     Psalms 35:13     Daniel 6:18
Mourning
D&C  95:7   2 Samuel 12:16     Nehemiah 1:4     Daniel 6:18
Great Need
Mosiah 27:22     Helaman 3:34-35     2 Chronicles 20:3     2 Samuel 12:16     Ezra 8:23     Esther 4:16     Daniel 6:18     Psalms 35:13
Worship
Luke 2:37     Alma 45:1     D&C 59:13-14     Nehemiah 9:1-4     Jonah 3:5     Zechariah 8:19
Offering
Joel 2:12     Omni 1:26     Jonah 3:5     Luke 2:37    Helaman 3:34-35     Psalms 69:10
Receive Instruction
3 Nephi 13:16-18     Ezra 10:6     Esther 4:16

You can fast for many purposes. Fasting is one way of worshiping God and expressing gratitude to Him (see Luke 2:37; Alma 45:1). You can fast as you ask Heavenly Father to bless the sick or afflicted (see Matthew 17:14–21). Fasting may help you and those you love receive personal revelation and become converted to the truth (see Alma 5:46; 6:6). Through fasting you can gain strength to resist temptation (see Isaiah 58:6). You can fast as you strive to humble yourself before God and exercise faith in Jesus Christ (see Omni 1:26; Helaman 3:35). You may fast to receive guidance in sharing the gospel and magnifying Church callings (see Acts 13:2–3; Alma 17:3, 9; 3 Nephi 27:1–2). Fasting may accompany righteous sorrow or mourning (see Alma 28:4–6; 30:1–2).(TRUE TO THE FAITH)

Combining Fasting and Prayer:
Alma 6:6     Alma 17:3     Alma 17:9    Alma 45:1     Helaman 3:34-35     3 Nephi 27:1     D&C 59:13-14     Nehemiah 1:4   Daniel 9:3    Matthew 17:21     Mark 9:29   Acts 10:30     D&C  88:76     Acts 14:23  
Omni 1:26     4 Nephi 1:12     1 Corinthians 7:5     Moroni 6:5     Mosiah 27:22

Prayer and fasting can give added strength to those giving and receiving priesthood blessings. The account can also be applied to your personal efforts to live the gospel. If you have a weakness or sin that you have struggled to overcome, you may need to fast and pray in order to receive the help or forgiveness you desire. Like the demon that Christ cast out, your difficulty may be the kind that will go out only through prayer and fasting.(Matthew 17:14-21)(TRUE TO THE FAITH)

I also found a great object lesson to signify fasting and prayer. You need two glasses. One with warm water and yeast (Prayer only) and the other with warm water, yeast and sugar (Fasting and Prayer). Watch to see how much your spirit can grow when you combine them.
I have a testimony of the power that comes through fasting, that can not come any other way. This whole experience also taught me about how the Spirit can work with us. I needed many promptings, witnesses, and experiences before I was ready to live the principle. Do not become discouraged if others do not take action the first time, we all need many little reminders.

WONDER how #3 is enjoying the DEEP South?

#3 is serving in Albany Georgia
Here are some of his crazy, fun thoughts, and experiences:
"I love it here in Albany. except its really hot. and there are gnats everywhere. I decided that they didn't have gnats in the garden of Eden because there's no way that they ever would be good. We have the biggest area in the mission and we only have bikes so that's fun.  Ok, so the apartment is pretty small and its only me and Elder Shelton because. the President said that 1 man is a man. 2 men are half a man. and 3 men are no man at all. So he just doesn't want us to be dumb together. Ok mom this is scary but, they have a bunch of spiders down here they are all over the place. They are either wolf spiders of they are brown recluses. Ahhhh that's scary. [The only thing in the world that #3 is afraid of is...spiders]. A man we chop wood for handed us a cigarette box and told us to look inside. That jerk! There was a spider in it. He is a very weird man. His name is J___. Oh, so when I got here I was like, "Oh this humidity isn't that bad." No mom. It's bad. I'm drenched all the time and I smell weird and its crazy, and the gnats again. Oh, another last thing is that we are having stake conference and Dallin H Oaks is coming. Pray for #2 and #1 and me."

"Yeah here I am in the big south. My first real companion is Elder Shelton. He is almost exactly like me. He likes all the same stuff I like and he is just super cool. haha Ok so the south is weird. Everyone down here prays wrong. They all hold hands, and then they will always talk in the middle of your prayer. "Yes, oh Yes, Yea Lord, mhhmmm, oh Sweet Jesus" It's super distracting. There is one man who starts his prayers by saying, "God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob" and then he will go into his prayer. I do love it here though. It's really cool here." 

"If we have hard times,  praying is the best thing we can do. It may still be hard but you will have the strength to make it."
"I have had so much fun on my mission so far but the thing I have noticed is that it is super hard. The word is hard,  the walking is hard,  the biking is hard, But Heavenly Father knows I can do it. And do you know what I have noticed is that He has given me just enough strength to make it. I really like my bed at the end of the day where I can just go and sleep. Man I love sleep."
" I do remember when went to the Draper Temple open house. I didn't really want to go that much, but it was a very cool experience. The coolest thing for me was the spirit I felt there. It was a very strong feeling. It wasn't a big turning point for me but coming out here on my mission has been. We actually had an apostle here for stake conference. It was Elder Dallin H. Oaks. Needles to say I haven't washed my hands yet. haha jk. But he was there and the spirit was very strong."
"Man, our family has real problems with teeth [regarding his younger Sister having to have some teeth pulled]. I'm sorry that that's happening but maybe we can move to Georgia so that teeth don't matter that much. J___ only has one and it's always out of his mouth. Its super weird. Most people are missing teeth here. Do you know that Albany is the 3rd poorest place in the US. Wow. We have more money than them."

WONDER how #2 is doing in Florida

#2 is serving in Winter Park, Florida. This is only his second area. His first area was Belleview, Florida. He had a hard time adjusting to the big city, after being in a very rural area.
Here is some of what he has to say:
"There have been times on my mission that I have felt completely alone. While those times are really hard, I'm grateful for them. I've been able to learn what prayer really means, and how to pray with real sincerity in those times. A quote I have always remembered is 'The key to knowing God is to struggle'. I've learned that is very true. Heavenly Father knows that we need to struggle in order to grow strong, and self reliant (aka Heavenly reliant). I guess strong timber does not grow with ease."
"I feel I have a front row seat to the greatest miracle of all, Christ's Atonement changing lives."
"Something I have been learning a lot about this week is humility and meekness, Its been a tough week, I never should have prayed for help developing those attributes! JK, I think that it is a blessing to go through humbling experiences that help us to become more Christ-like. I read a talk by Elder Ulisses Soares from the October 2013 conference called "Be Meek and Lowly of Heart". It really touched me and gave me a strong desire to change. You know better than anyone that my pride gets in the way a lot, and this time I have on my mission is probably the best opportunity I will ever have to change so that's something that I've been working on. I study about it all the time and I also pray for it. I find when I do those things, its on my mind and then when I start acting prideful or self-righteous I'm able to catch myself better, I still struggle, but I will improve day by day. I just need to work hard and be patient with myself, I won't magically become humble overnight, I wish it was that easy, but its really not. As I've been thinking about this it so happens that I read Alma 60 and 61 this morning. Those chapters are when Moroni totally rips on Pahoran for being a terrible person and was very bold and very powerful in the language he used. Pahoran's reaction to me is inspiring, he didn't get angry or get offended, he saw that Moroni was only wanting to protect his people and fight for the right. Pahoran respected and even complimented him on that. Pahoran didn't get angry or fling back and Moroni a letter chewing him out for getting angry at him, he was meek and humble, he was more concerned about the problem than he was about who was more right."
"Something I have been thinking about a lot this week is about small and simple things. I read Alma 37 this week and I've been thinking about all the great blessings and promises that Alma gives to his son Helaman, just for reading the scriptures! It seems like such a small thing so it is really easy to put off or not do. But there are so many blessings that come from scripture study that we really need. I love reading the scriptures, just like Dad said on his e-mail. They are great for me."
"I've learned to accept help on my mission, its not bad to let other people help and I've learned that. I love to serve other people, but we also must allow others to serve us."
"One last thought. I've found great blessings from doing service for Elder D___ everyday, I think he is still dealing with a lot of stress and stuff because he is new and things at home that are worrying him. The other day I cleaned his bike, he was in the other room and didn't know, and I didn't tell him. He didn't say anything about it, so I'm 99.9% sure he did not notice. At first I was kind of sad he didn't notice, but then I felt the spirit really strongly confirming to me that I had done the right thing and that Heavenly Father knows what I did, and that,s enough. I really like doing service when people don't know that I did it, I think the spirit is strongest when Heavenly Father is the only one that knows what we did. There are scriptures that talk about "your father who seeth in secret shall reward you openly" or something like that. It is definitely true."

WONDER where all the missionaries are now part 1

#1 is serving in Maumelle, Arkansas.
She is in a threesome at the moment. Maumelle is only her second area and very different from her first. Her first area, Sulphur Rock has a population of 465. Maumelle is a sub-burb of Little Rock, population 10,000+. Here are a few excerpts from recent letters:
**Yesterday, I got a little fed up with it and so I suddenly burst out as we were driving to no where: "Sometimes I wish Satan would just take a break! Like take a coffee break or something! I wouldn't put it past him to break the word of wisdom!" Sister Roseman couldn't contain herself and was laughing all over the place. Yep. Life of a missionary.
**I found this awesome quote: FEAR has two meanings: "Forget Everything And Run" or "Face Everything And Rise". The choice is yours -Zig Zigler. Sweet right? I really liked it and wanted to share. 

**One last thing and I gotta go. I found this scripture as well: 2 Nephi 26: 23-24, but I likened it unto myself, so go to it to see what it really says:

"For behold, my beloved [daughter], I say unto you that the Lord God worketh not in darkness.

"He doeth not anything save it were for the benefit [you]; for he loveth [you], even that he layeth down his own life that he may draw [you] unto him..."

**(On teaching a sister from China) "So J____. Oh man. We were talking/teaching her and she want to be good like us. The way she found our church is amazing. She got here and her boss said that she doesn't know anybody here and that she needs to go to church. He said that the only Christian church he knew of was up on the hill. She was walking there and Sister C____ (wife of a high councilor) saw her and picked her up and brought her to church.  J____ stays because our sign, on the bottom, says "visitors welcome". Cool right? Well, her boss and everyone she works with is telling her to not come to our church because Mormons are crazy and because our church is far away. But she WANTS to come to our church she likes our church. She feels good there." :)

**Serving a mission is great. As you were saying in all your letters, there are of course the hard times. There are times when it's hard and you don't know what to do. There are the times of crying and falling to your knees to ask for help. A mission is not for the faint of heart. BUT it is so rewarding! I wouldn't trade it for anything."

**"I promise you guys that as long as you are ALWAYS doing your best, reading the scriptures (even the bible ;) we need to in the south) and praying, it will always turn out ok. It may not be immediately or the next day, but it definitely comes when you need it the most. It may not come in the way you expect, but it comes all the same.  Heavenly Father is ever mindful of you guys, no matter what. He loves you always, forever and no matter what :).

WONDER why it takes me so long to learn the same lesson
“Trust in the Lord with all thy heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Some of my thoughts and Testimony
I woke up very early with thoughts and memories flooding my mind, and feel that I must share them with you. I hope you feel my love for you as I share, and do not feel embarrassed as I share some personal things. First I will share four experiences with you and then I will share what I learned. (Some of these experiences you may have heard before, please bear with me.)


First experience:
#2 had turned in his mission papers and was waiting for his call.  I worried and worried, and stewed and stewed over where #2 would be called to serve. I would think about a particular struggle I knew #2 was having and think of where he should go to conquer it. For example: I thought, “#2 struggles with a low self esteem, so he should go somewhere that won’t be a struggle. Where would that be? Oh, yes! He should serve in China. He would be taller than everyone and that will help his self esteem.“ I would go to bed that night and say my prayers, please send #2 to China, so it will help his self esteem” I would then toss and turn all night and in the morning decided, “no, that would not be a good place for #2.” I would spend all day brainstorming. “Sometimes #2 is prideful, so he should go_______. Then he will learn humility.” I would ask in my prayers, “please send him to ______ so he can learn to be humble.” I would then toss and turn all night and in the morning decided, “no, that would not be a good place for #2.”  “#2 is addicted to video games, he should go somewhere that it won’t be a temptation for him. He should serve in Africa or Mongolia, where they have no power.” “I would ask in my prayers, please send him to Africa or Mongolia, so that he will not be tempted.” I would then toss and turn all night and in the morning decided, “no, that would not be a good place for #2.” And then the realization came…“The Lord knows and loves #2 more than you do. He will go exactly where the Lord wants/needs him to go. And #2 will learn what the Lord wants him to learn.” The Spirit confirmed these thoughts and I have been at peace ever since.

Here is the second experience: First a little background: This happened in January or February of 2004. I was expecting #6. I was about half way through the pregnancy and had gone to the doctor for a routine visit. They check your weight and measure your growth, then they listen to the baby’s heart beat. When the doctor tried to find a heart beat, there was none. I was devastated. I had been through a similar experience twice before and lost both babies. The doctor asked me to follow him upstairs to a room with an ultra sound. I was overcome with grief and fear. We got upstairs and the room was locked. He left me waiting in the hall while he went to look for the key. I was in tears. I could not face this alone. I asked the doctor to go and find M____. She is a sister in our ward who worked at the clinic. M_____ came right away. She could tell that something was wrong. She asked what and I told her they could not find a heart beat. She hugged me and let me cry. She asked what she could do and I asked her to hold my hand. The doctor came back with the key and I climbed up on the ultra sound table. He began looking from every possible angle. There was the baby, there was his heart, and it was not beating. I was crying and praying, and praying and crying. My prayer was one word, and one word only, “Please.” In that word were all the pleadings of my heart. The doctor continued to look for another minute or so and then a miracle…His heart began beating! All three of us in that room knew that we had witnessed a miracle. (I have since talked with M_____ and Dr. J_____ and we all agree on what happened and that it was in fact a miracle.)  I drove home as quickly and safely as I could still in tears. Tears that started as fear and turned into tears of joy. I found Hubby working on the sheetrock in our new walk in closet and collapsed into his arms. I was still crying as I continued to tell him what had happened. I think Hubby and Grandpa  gave me a blessing to help me calm down.
From that time to now, there has been a little thought in the back of my mind, that perhaps #6 would not be with our family for very long.
As you know #6 has had trouble with his teeth. When he was 9 months old he fell out of the stroller and knocked out 3 of his bottom teeth. When he was 8-9 his 2 front teeth had not fallen out, and were not even loose. I took him to the dentist to have some x-rays taken. The dentist was not sure what he saw and so he kept the x-rays and was going to show them to a colleague. He called me a few days later with the report. #6 had extra teeth that were making it so the baby teeth would not come out and were blocking the way of his permanent teeth.  He would need to have surgery to remove the teeth. I was filled with dread. A dark feeling came over me. I was literally sick to my stomach, as I got off the phone. “Why was I feeling this way?” That little thought in the back of my mind came up. I did not think #6 would make it through the surgery. Then the internal battle began. “Do I not schedule the surgery? If we don’t do it will things be okay? Will #6 be okay? Will I be okay? Do I go ahead with it, and hope for the best? What is this feeling? What is happening? What am I to do? “   The battle lasted for a few days. There were many prayers, and lots of tears as I struggled with these feelings. I finally found peace.  “He is the Lord’s. If the Lord wants him home, even though I will miss him, I will let him go.” I learned to be submissive to the Lord. It was not an easy decision, but it brought great peace. And so I scheduled the surgery, not knowing how things would turn out. (As you know the surgery went fine.)

The third experience involves #1. For many months #1 said she was not going to serve a mission. I was fine with whatever she decided. It was her decision.  In August of 2013 she was struggling with some things, her health, roommate issues, troubles at work, etc. We had talked and I gave her some council. She called me a few days later and said, “I am going to serve a mission!”  I think my response was, “Wow!” We visited for just a very few minutes as we made a few plans for moving home, selling her lease, what to do about work, etc. I said a quick good-bye and got off the phone and began to cry. I did not feel good about it. I was worried. I was afraid #1 was going because she felt forced by Hubby and I. I did not know if I could emotionally handle missing 2 of my kids. I worried about how I could support them spiritually and emotionally.  And I worried about money. I called her back the next day and apologized for my lack luster response to her exciting news and told her I was just surprised. I never shared any of these feelings with #1. I tried to sort out my feelings and deal with them, and I made up my mind to simply support her decision. I worked on helping her get ready.  December 17, we went to #1’s setting apart. I was still unsure in my heart of her decision. In the blessing from the Stake President, He said,  “#1 serving a mission was something you was foreordained to do.” I began to cry. I don’t know what that knowledge did for #1 or anyone else in the room, but for me it was an answer to prayer. All my doubts and fears were gone. How do you argue with the Lord? I was at peace.

Another experience from a few years ago. I had a prompting that Hubby would be getting a new calling.  I did not want him to have the new call. I spent several days arguing with the Lord about it. “Hubby isn’t ready for that calling. I can’t handle that calling. Etc” I was unhappy and stressed for those few days. When I went to the Lord in prayer and told him I would do whatever He asked of me, and support Hubby in anything asked of him, I felt peace. Surprisingly the calling I was dreading never came.

All these experiences have taught me to trust in the Lord. When I trust the Lord, I can be submissive to His will.  The blessings for me have been wonderful feelings of peace, “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding.“ (Philippians 4:7)   It has not been a one time lesson, but trusting God is coming more naturally to me.  I think often of the following Hymn.

It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I'll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in thine:
I'll go where you want me to go.

I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord;
I'll be what you want me to be.

Perhaps today there are loving words
Which Jesus would have me speak;
There may be now in the paths of sin
Some wand'rer whom I should seek.
O Savior, if thou wilt be my guide,
Tho dark and rugged the way,
My voice shall echo the message sweet:
I'll say what you want me to say.

I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord;
I'll be what you want me to be.

There's surely somewhere a lowly place
In earth's harvest fields so wide
Where I may labor through life's short day
For Jesus, the Crucified.
So trusting my all to thy tender care,
And knowing thou lovest me,
I'll do thy will with a heart sincere:
I'll be what you want me to be.

I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord,
Over mountain or plain or sea;
I'll say what you want me to say, dear Lord;
I'll be what you want me to be.

And I begin to wonder why it takes me so many times to learn the same lesson.
I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me. I know they want what is best for me. And so I think sometimes the lessons are not necessarily to teach us to trust God, but to teach us to be submissive and then we can become who Heavenly Father wants us to be.  I decided a long time ago that I will go and do anything the Lord asks me to do.  My struggle is completely  letting go; of my past mistakes, my fears, my weaknesses, my own ideas, likes and dislikes, hobbies, etc.. Do I trust God enough to submit my will and become who he wants me to be? I am trying, because that is my ultimate goal.

written April 6, 2014